Dirty Thirty

Well here it is, my 30th birthday. I never would have guessed I'd be spending it in Afghanistan, but here it is. I'm waiting for the arcane knowledge of middle age to fall to me, as if angels flap to earth on downy wings to whisper in my ears the secrets of escrow, lawn fertilizer and how to fix a dripping faucet. If it doesn't happen today, I'm going to assume it's 40.

As per usual, my family have gone out of their to make me feel like I'm not in the desert, impossibly far from my home and my comfort zone. Two days ago I received a gigantic box from them. I didn't read the packing list, as the post office makes you write the contents on the outside of the boxes you send out here. I was going to write about it without opening it yet, but that would be crazy. Let's see what we've got.

The box is about 24" x 12" x 8", and it could contain anything. Mama already warned me that they used old clothes as packing material, and not to open it in front of other people, lest I want them thinking my folks have sent me rainbow tanktops for my birthday... Which, apparently, they have. Along with an unworn (tag still on them) pair of hummingbird pajama bottoms, a couple of sweaters and an NRA hat. And mixed in with the clothes are homemade cupcakes packed in little Rubbermaid containers. Several of these have bit the dust, opening up in transit and mixing it up with the load of laundry that accompanied them in the box, but there are two survivors who made it through unscathed, and will pay for their luck by being eaten in the next 5 minutes.

At the very bottom of the box are homemade brownies, wrapped in aluminum foil and saran wrap with specific instructions: "Open on a flat surface. Look before you cut. Candles and lifesavers go on each piece."

Holy cow. What a surprising birthday.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and my birthday, that's quite a holiday triptych to spend out of the country. I don't think I ever wrote anything about either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I know I sat down to write about it, but just got bogged down in the details and the minutia of the days. The short story of my holidays is: they were nice!

Thanksgiving we went to a turkey dinner at the American DFAC, where I had turkey, stuffing, rice, peas and a tiny pizza (I can't walk into that place without getting one of the tiny pizzas). I went with the Major and his network Chief and we talked about, well, whatever people talk about at dinner. Then we came back to the office and watched TV all night.

Christmas, I showed up at the office to find all of the enlisted guys packed into their connex/office building opening presents together. My family did a wonderful job of shipping Christmas to me all the way across the ocean, so I grabbed my boxes and joined them. The rest of the day I wore the scarf that my mom knitted me and the Christmas Vacation t-shirt that my sister sent me. We went a Christmas feast for lunch, and that night smoked cigars by our little hobo fire.

OK, I can't wait any longer, I need to get my brownies somewhere and cut them up. Thanks to everyone! I'll see you soon!