Field Hygiene

I'm still trying to figure out where I'm more comfortable, this somewhat isolated FOB outside of Kandahar, or my home on KAF. Coming out here, I've traded three hot meals a day for two, but the food is better here. I've traded hot showers for no showers, but my tent is warmer here. At this post we're so close to the enemy that everyone walk around the FOB with their weapons loaded (but not locked, alert level = Amber), but KAF gets a couple of rockets or mortars lobbed at it a week, and they haven't gotten anything here. I work harder here because everything I do seems more critical, but I get more satisfaction from my work.

So the jury's out on that issue.

Yesterday I took my first whore's bath after being out here for four days. I was dancing from sandal to sandal in a cold tent trying to clean myself with baby wipes. You know how many baby wipes it takes to clean a baby? One. You know how many it takes to clean a grown-ass man? A few more than that. Face, hair, pits, xxx, xxxxx, xxxxx and feet makes for a good 6-8 at least, and that just hitting the high points!

Today I found a source of hot water, and a grimy looking bar of soap. I've washed my hands twice since then, getting off the gunk and residue that alcohol-based hand sanitizer can leave behind.

Oh, I just remembered what might put KAF over the top: flushing toilets. Port-a-potties are cold, and sometimes astoundingly disgusting. Learned an interesting fact about port-a-potties and some of the locals. Afghanistan, like a lot of the third world, is peopled with squat-poopers. Like our cavemen ancestors, and even up unto the Greeks, they squat down on their haunches to do their business. I think it was the Romans, or the Europeans who finally decided to forgo nature's design for our bodies and poop in a sitting position, forever weakening the hamstrings of the civilized ever since (maybe it was the Victorians?) Anyway, the Afghans are still happy to squat on the side of the road, and they see no difference when it comes to the port-a-johns, so they will step inside, put their feet up on either side of the seat and go to town.

This can be messy.

Another point KAF has on this place: at KAF I don't have to carry around my own toilet paper. I brought some with me, just in case, and boy am I happy I did.